Sleepless nights 

Have you ever had this happen to you? The moment you’re sick with a cold and need sleep the most is the moment that you cannot fall asleep?
I’m having one of those nights. Instead of getting the rest I need, I’m just sitting in bed until the wave of exhaustion wins over my stubborn spirit preventing me from getting better. 
So here I sit. And sit. And sit. 
Honestly, a lot of our time in Costa Rica has been spent sitting. Whether that be at the dinner table, with our teammates, or the family, we have a lot of time to do . . . nothing. Or maybe we have tons of time to do the things we’ve wanted to do for a while. Or maybe things we need to do. 
I now have no excuse to say that I cannot have long times with the Lord because I’m so busy. I can’t say that I can’t help my host mom around the house, because I have so much to do. I am not here to “change the world.” God already did that. I’m here to be faithful with what the Lord has given me, whether big or small, and glorify Him in all I do. If He gives me a lot of time to talk and clean, I better talk and clean as if I’m doing it with Him and for Him. 
If I am waiting in a line for the bank, I have to wait in line as if I’m waiting with Him. If the bus from the nearest bank runs out of gas an hour into the trip (solely hypothetical, of course) I have to see what God is trying to teach me. 
Patience: That has definitely been the word of the week. 
When I try to teach an English lesson to a group of ten year olds that don’t understand how to control themselves in a classroom, I cannot lose my temper. When I am working with others that do not have the same cultural mindset that I do, I need to respond with love and try to understand, not judge. 
I need to have patience when all I want to do is go to bed, but the Lord just won’t let me fall asleep. 
As I write this blog post, one of my favorite songs came on: our hearts are restless until they find rest in You.
Maybe the Lord is using my cold that I have to make me restless and reflect on how much I need Him. Without Him, I wouldn’t have had this opportunity to serve here in Costa Rica. Without Him, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Without Him, I wouldn’t have wisdom to handle the situations that stumble along my way here.
Maybe I did need to be restless for a bit. Thank you, Lord, for guiding me through the unknown. 
Thank You for things that we might not understand at the moment.

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