I got the nerves . . . Scratch that, I have legitimate jitters about my upcoming experience in Costa Rica. The idea of living away from home in a completely different culture for an extended period of time isn’t a new concept. When your parents are numb to the idea of their daughter traveling overseas “by herself” so much that they don’t even check with the organization anymore as to the safety and credibility of it, you know that you have the travel bug.
If I’m not nervous about experiencing a new culture, then what am I nervous for?
I think, at the end of the day, I’m nervous to fail.
What happens if something goes terribly wrong on this trip and I don’t know what to do about it? What if my other teammates think I’m boring? What if I don’t push them, yet give them enough freedom to experience and grow in the Lord for themselves?
Those “what ifs” can really turn a new stage of life from the exciting thing it should be to something to lose sleep over.
Even though I may feel unqualified for what’s about to come, I know that is the perfect place to be. I can therefore trust the Lord even more and look to Him for my guidance.
The Lord has been teaching me this past year that I don’t need to have a crazy experience to grow in Him. One way to learn and grow is to go through a hard time, but another way to learn is through the disciplines of following Him even when life might be going well and the day-to-day seems meaningless.
I pray that my study in the disciplines prepares me for my experience in the unknown.
As I type this, I am watching a Robin feed her little babies. The baby robins are all by themselves until the mama comes to feed them. The mama robin will then leave, come back, and feed them again. It’s a beautiful picture; why am I so mesmerized by it?
I think it’s because I feel helpless, like a baby robin. I can only get truly fed and refueled from my Heavenly Father. I am solely dependent on Him for this summer, and beyond.