I’m Not As Happy As You May Think

At first, I was going to title this post “how to be happy” but then realized that I didn’t want this to seem like a stereotypical “how-to” list with random GIFs that attract the majority of millenials trying to procrastinate on schoolwork. With open access for anyone to start their own blog, we encounter a lot of useless, silly posts that may be comical but also are a waste our time. I try not to write like that.

I don’t blog to get as many views as I can or provide people with an opportunity to procrastinate; I blog to remind myself of Truth and bring clarity in my own life and possibly in yours.

I think this particular post will hit close to home for most, because we all know a few people who look like they’re super happy all the time, and we wonder how they are able to do it. We think it’s unreal. Sometimes we get annoyed and feel like they’re fake, or we are jealous, wondering how they can always be cheery and how we can become more like them.

People call me that “happy one” and ironically, I laugh at that.

In elementary school, people asked me why I never smiled. I refused to talk, and my family was nervous that I would never become a functional adult. I followed the rules to a T, and took no crap from the other kids (I also would’ve never said the word “crap”). I was super strict on myself and other people. My life was filled with an unhealthy amount of fear, and my best trait in the household was arguing with everything my parents and siblings said.

Let’s just say that I am not the happiest person on earth.

Right now, I have a lot of crazy situations going on in different aspects of my family life; my life is definitely not perfect. It’s wrong for me to numb myself to the sad emotions that seem to creep up, but at the same time if I let myself feel those emotions, I would be a basket case every time I left my dorm room.

So why will I smile when I see people? Why do I seem to have an addiction with laughing?

Because although a lot of crap has gone on in my life, the Lord continues to bless me with people. With you. With wonderful friends and family. With the ability to pursue my talents and gifts to glorify Him.

And even when things are not going well (and trust me, that happens a lot!), the Lord is still faithful.

I am definitely not happy a lot of the time; in fact, I would say that most of the time I am not happy. I have too many fears and insecurities yet to be worked through. But I am joyful and thankful for the what the Lord has blessed me with and am hopeful for what He has promised me will come.

The thing is, I know I’m not alone.

If you are the one that everyone seems to call “happy,” know that you’re not alone and people are here for you: first of all, the Lord, and secondly, me. If you know me, shoot me a message with any prayer requests or if you need someone to talk to (and I mean that!). And if you’re someone who knows a traditionally happy person, make sure to be sensitive to them and not always assume that everything is all peachy keen. Those who pour so much joy and energy into other people need to be poured into, as well.

It’s amazing what happens when we take time to truly get to know one another.

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